Lincolnshire

Map reveals best place to buy house in Lincolnshire to survive nuclear apocalypse

With the ever increasing threat of nuclear war thanks to the brinkmanship and threats of Kim Jong Un and Donald Trump, an enterprising if perhaps insensitive property company has compiled a list of the best places to live in Lincolnshire and the UK if the worst comes to the worst.

The map put together by estate agents eMoov claims to illustrate the zones which would be wiped out by a nuclear strike on one of 20 major cities in the UK and the areas where you could survive.

A bizarre guide to nuclear house hunting

It turns out that Skegness is one of the safest places to live, with Yellowbellies able to sit back on the beach away from the radiation while vast swathes of the rest of the country are wiped out.

An average house price of £163,991 also appears reasonable, especially considering you would have access to the North Sea as an escape point.

Towns such as Boston and Spalding look like possible alternative locations to live, if for whatever reason you are a bit picky and do not like the jewel of the Lincolnshire coast.

Unfortunately, the major population centres Lincoln, Scunthorpe and Grimsby would be made inhospitable by a nuclear strike on Nottingham, Sheffield or Hull.

Perhaps the worst place to live would be the small village of Brixworth in Northamptonshire.

Discounting the extortionate average house price of £268,932, the town is completely surrounded by radiation, so your chances of survival and well sanity are probably a bit thin.

Possible other alternatives to Lincolnshire could be Cornwall, the North Yorkshire town of Whitby where Dracula first arrived, or Berwick on Tweed on the Scottish Border.

And let’s be honest, the Scottish Highlands look even better than usual, with Inverness, Fort William and John O’Groats all safe zones.